AM aide is MIA?

Ok, so you decided to skip all care besides changing the patients clothes for two weeks why? Oh, you didn't have enough time, I see. No, no, you're absolutely right, only an hour to get one person showered and dressed is not enough time at all. Oh, and you haven't been applying the barrier cream at all because you didn't want them to feel embarrassed about having cream put on their backside. I'm sure they appreciated that, despite having skin like tissue paper and sitting in a wheelchair wearing a brief that you never change all day long. Ooooh and you left a present for me in the commode! Thank you so much for that, how did you know that I love cleaning up feces and urine that have been stewing in there all day? Thank you for that, it really makes the entire home smell absolutely lovely, a great way to help preserve their dignity.
And what's this? A phone call from the supervisor ripping me a new one after my first night back at work because you reported that I hadn't been applying barrier cream, leading to a bedsore? This just makes my day, thank you for letting me take your blame. You're absolutely right, it is completely my fault that you neglected a sweet, loving, person while I was away for two weeks. Don't worry, I made sure to explain that very clearly to the RN. Oh and by the way, just a little tip: before you report a mental status change to the nurse because the patient is giving you inappropriate responses (when they respond at all) and suddenly seems confused all the time, CHECK THE BATTERY IN THE HEARING AIDS FIRST. Ya, I noticed you didn't do that either. No worries though, I took care of it.
And one last thing: thanks for telling me that you busted the shower head and it now sprays all over the room thanks to your handy work. That unexpected blast of water was really refreshing.